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The Avengers - 34C.
There will be SPOILERS so stop reading now. Or don’t.
Two very large chested girls specifically asked me to use their pictures for this review before I had seen it. I can’t do that.
This was an ok movie with amazing action sequences, terrible dialogue and an excruciating overuse of some of the cheesiest one-liners that I have ever heard.
Question. What was up with the Hulk? The first time Banner Hulked out he tried to kill Black Widow. The second time it happened he was totally cool with everyone and fighting for the team. Until he randomly punched out Thor.
And Black Widow? Come on. Yes, one of the best scenes involved her. I’m talking about in the beginning when her cleavage was jiggling while she did karate in a dress. But what the hell. I felt bad for her during that 360 shot when everyone looks all bad ass and it shows her putting a clip in her gun and chambering a round.
Same goes for Hawkeye. He’s pretty lame. Robin Hood could be an Avenger.
Iron Man. I like him.
Captain America. I think I love him.
Hulk. I love Mark Ruffalo and his scenes were great. Whether he was hulking out or just being himself.
Thor. He’s ok. I remember when the first trailer came out and Tony Stark says I’m a billionaire, playboy philanthropist and Thor laughs. People were asking how would he even know what any of that stuff means. Well, the trailer was just edited that way. The scene didn’t actually happen like that. He did say Loki was adopted though at one of the comic relief points. Do they have adoptions on Asgard?
Am I over analyzing this? Probably. Are people so anxious to suck a movie’s dick just because it’s been hyped up for years and it SHOULD be amazing? Definitely.
Thanks to solonginnocence for the picture.
This was actually one of the worst/most ridiculous movie I have ever seen. So much so that it was kind of amazing. I think I loved it. Nicolas Cage has never been more over the top. It was unreal. So much screaming and weird facial expressions. I expected it to be psychotic because its from the guys that made Crank and Crank: High Voltage.
Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor are definitely a little nuts. Again, I mean that in a good way. There were scenes in this movie that immediately make you say “umm, what the fuck!?!”
As for the plot it goes something like this. There’s an alcoholic monk that wants to protect the son of the devil. He gets Johnny Blaze/Ghost Rider to help him by promising that his curse will be lifted.
This would be perfect for a drunk bad movie night.
I cannot stress how ridiculous and amazing this movie is.
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I think this is 100x better than the real trailer for The Avengers.
Captain America: The First Avenger - 34d. This was really great. For a lot of reasons. We’ll start with the people.
Chris Evans was perfect as Steve Rogers/Captain America. He’s handsome, he’s in incredible shape, he’s funny and charming and he was just great. Nobody would have done it better.
Tommy Lee Jones may have stolen the movie. He made me laugh loudly a few times. People probably thought a witch was being burned to death in the theater. I cackle like a gay witch on fire.
Hayley Atwell was just a babe. She played Steve Roger’s love interest.
Ok I think that’s enough character talk. The movie was great. It reminded me of Iron Man in the sense that it took a character I didn’t know much about or give a shit about and made me love him.
Stay after the credits. Shit gets real.